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I Wasn’t Supposed To Grow Old!

Over the last twenty-four years that I’ve had ALS, Mary and I have learned to take one day at a time. But this day, October 5th, is noteworthy because it happens to be my 60th birthday!  

I was diagnosed just weeks after my 36th birthday. The prognosis was that I’d be dead before turning forty. My 40th birthday was a big deal. My 50th birthday was a bigger deal. But now I am 60!

“Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34).

Like the manna in the wilderness, God’s grace is only sufficient for today. 

Taking this trial one day at a time, with God’s grace and the prayers and help of family and friends, we’ve been able to cope for over 8700 days. If you’re going through a difficult time right now, focus on today, and God will give you new strength tomorrow morning. 

“The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

The picture below was taken in 1996, a month and a half after I was diagnosed. 

That Christmas was bittersweet. We packed up our minivan and drove to Wisconsin and then Chicago to spend Christmas with my family. While staying with my sister’s family in Wisconsin, I took the first of probably a thousand painful falls. 

I woke up before everyone else that Christmas morning and tried to sneak downstairs to get my video camera set up. Apparently, my legs were not fully awake and gave out at the top of the stairs. I rode my tailbone down the stairs and woke up everyone in the house. My tailbone hurt for months. I followed that with a few falls on icy driveways. Physically speaking, it went downhill from there. But, spiritually, I began to grow in faith. 

“I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18).

Does the above verse include getting ALS at thirty-six, losing your career, becoming paralyzed, unable to eat, helpless and voiceless? A million times, YES! 

As the Bible says, our lives are like a vapor that appears for a little while and then disappears. It’s eternity that matters. The more we focus on eternity, the smaller our problems seem. 

“We do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

As you’ll see in the picture below, sixty years of life and twenty-four years with ALS has caused a lot of decay on my outer man:-)

I often wonder how anyone could have hope, joy, and peace, relying on the temporal things and the decaying “outer man”? More than that, why would anyone want to do this when Jesus suffered, died, and rose from the dead to offer you unshakable hope? 

This is what I’m asking God for my 60th birthday gift – that just one person would read this post and make a commitment to follow Christ as I did thirty-seven years ago. 

“For God so loved (your name here),that He gave His only begotten Son, that (your name here) believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16).

“Christianity asserts that every individual human being is going to live for ever, and this must be either true or false. Now there are a good many things which would not be worth bothering about if I were going to live only seventy years, but which I had better bother about very seriously if I am going to live for ever.” – C.S. Lewis 

My siblings and their families planned to come down to celebrate my 60th birthday, but the pandemic put an end to their plans. I still had a wonderful birthday celebration with Mary’s mom, our girls, son-in-law, and grandkids. 

To the family and friends who have already sent me birthday wishes and gifts – Thank You! Your messages are humbling. If wealth is measured by the love of family and friends, I am the wealthiest man on earth. 

Small Victories

I haven’t posted in a while, so I thought I would share this short word of encouragement with my friends in the blogosphere.

For the last year or so, I’ve needed to wear my breathing mask 24/7. The last month or so has been more difficult. Even removing the mask to transfer in and out of my wheelchair left me gasping for air. (That’s obviously not the encouraging part:-)

But a strange thing happened to me a few days ago. Mary removed my breathing mask to get me out of bed around 6:30 that morning. After plopping me in the wheelchair, she then pulled the breathing machine over and started to put the mask on me. I stopped her. I was breathing just fine on my own. It felt so good to breathe without the assistance of a machine. I made it to 11:30 without my breathing mask – five hours!

I’m thankful for life’s victories, even the relatively small victories like breathing on my own for five hours. It’s the small victories that give us the confidence to believe for bigger victories. It’s the small victories that build our faith and hope. It’s the small victories that give us the strength to press on.

I’ve had ALS for 24 years, but I’m still believing God for small and BIG victories. I hope that you are, too.

He’s a big God!

“Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 15:57).





How Is It That You Have No Faith?

I don’t understand why, but many of us enjoy seeing others become frightened. Some of the funniest videos I’ve seen are of grown men getting scared and screaming like little girls.

It may be fun to see others get scared, but living in fear is nothing to laugh about.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve been an Online Missionary for Global Media Outreach for ten years. Last week, I received the following message from a woman overseas:
Comment/Question: “Please pray for me. I’m going through anxiety, fear of the unknown.”

Research shows that fear is triggered by a loss of control or feeling powerless. With the pandemic, social unrest, and the economic meltdown, the world is seemingly spinning out of control. There are many living in fear because they feel a loss of control and a sense of powerlessness. Since the start of the pandemic, sales of anti-anxiety drugs have risen by 34%. This is on top of the increase of those self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.

Thankfully, I didn’t resort to drugs or alcohol, but I remember the fear and anxiety that Mary and I battled when I was diagnosed with ALS so many years ago. Like many today, our whole world was turned upside down. Voices of fear echoed in our minds throughout many sleepless nights. Fear fights hard to destroy our faith and steal our joy, peace, and hope.

When going through difficult times, surrendering to our fears is the greatest temptation we’ll face. If we are followers of Christ, by definition, He is in control, and we are never powerless! That said, we still have our part to play in this war against fear.

I don’t mean to sound like a braggart, but, physically speaking, I don’t know of anyone who is as powerless or has less control than me. But, regardless of our physical condition, most of us will eventually battle those voices of fear and anxiety. Here are a few things I’ve learned about fear and anxiety that might help you fight.

Faith and fear are polar opposites: “And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? How is it that you have no faith?” (Mark 4:40).

To strengthen our faith, we need to surround ourselves with faith-filled people and God’s word: “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17).

Fear is a spirit, but it doesn’t come from God: “God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7).

The goal of this spirit of fear is to enslave us in a dark pit of depression: “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15).

“God is love,” and fear is punishment:
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18).

God will fight with us: “The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?” (Psalm 27:1).

God will strengthen and uphold us: “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10).

When battling anxiety, pray and recount the things you’re thankful for: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Fear is a relentless enemy, the battle might be a protracted one, but you will be delivered: “I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalm 34:4).

I’ve never counted, but I read somewhere that there are 365 verses telling us not to give in to fear. If there is a “don’t fear” verse for every day of the year, I’m thinking it’s a message God wants us to get.

It’s the things of this world, the visible, the temporary, the “shakable” things that cause us fear and anxiety. Our job, our home, our health, the economy, and so much more. For the follower of Christ, the things of this world are just things. It’s at times like this that we see that things are not deserving of our hopes. The road to unshakable hope is a very shaky one, but you’ll have Jesus with you to hold you up. This narrow road leads to a Kingdom which cannot be shaken! (Hebrews 12:27-28).

If you have not committed to following Christ, what are you waiting for?

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” (John 14:27).

I’m More There Than Here

I have been sick for the last ten days or so. It was likely another upper respiratory infection or possibly pneumonia. It’s probably not COVID-19 because Mary’s had the house on lockdown since early March to protect her mom and me. She guards our home like it’s Fort Knox. She’s tough. Our daughter was in town last month and asked to stay with us, and Mary told her no. Mary said to her, “you haven’t been practicing social distancing or wearing a mask.” Thankfully, Mary did allow the repairman in last week when our air conditioner broke down.

Regardless of what I had, hospice isn’t in the business of diagnosing. Hospice is in the business of making the dying comfortable, and it’s a job that a lot of caring people do very well. They did write me a prescription for antibiotics, however. We are thankful for hospice.

I am feeling better. Thank you to all of you who pray for me.

I usually don’t watch a lot of television when I am feeling/breathing okay. I’m on my computer most days for ten or twelve hours. But whatever I had was making it so difficult to breathe sitting upright. I laid down and watched way too much news. Watching too much news leads to depression. I knew this, but I’m a glutton for punishment. Seeing footage of George Floyd having his life snuffed out, and the riots that followed was depressing. I love people, but I hate so much in this world. I want heaven so much more than this cruel world. I didn’t pray to die like I did last Thanksgiving when I was so sick, but I was tempted.

In my soul and spirit, I’m more there than here.

“Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ― C.S. Lewis.

Have you ever prayed for the return of Jesus? If you’ve prayed the Lord’s Prayer, you’re praying for heaven to invade earth:

“Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven …”
(Matthew 6:9-10).

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I got the name of my blog from Hebrews 12:27:

“…all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.” (Hebrews 12:27).

It was almost twenty-four years ago that ALS shook our family. It was as if God turned us upside down and shook us until almost everything we were trusting in fell out. Everything but Jesus that is. He is the only Unshakable Hope we have.

The world is being shaken right now. The only constant is change, and most of these changes are not for the better. There will be so many “new normals” that the world we knew will be unrecognizable.

We can’t blame God for all of this suffering and turmoil. He does allow the horrible things we see to happen, but He allows it for good. In order to understand this, we have to see it from God’s eternal point of view. Heaven and hell are real, and we will all spend eternity in one or the other. Many of us put trust and hope in the things of this world, temporary things. With some of us, the only way we will turn to Christ is to be shown that these temporary things are not worthy of our trust and hope. This is the context for the Unshakable Hope verse: “…all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.” (Hebrews 12:27).

In chapter sixteen of the book of Revelation, the Apostle John was horrified by something he saw in the vision. He saw plagues and people with painful sores, such horrible suffering. What shocked John was these suffering people still refused to turn to Christ and be forgiven for their sins. Instead, they “blasphemed the name of God.”

How can I say that “God is good” when there is so much suffering and injustice in the world? Because He is not the “god of this world.” Satan is the god of this present world. He “has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:4).

One of the ways that the “god of this world” has “blinded the minds of the unbelieving” is by waving a bunch of shiny things in front of their eyes.

“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” (Romans 8:24-25).

I hope I will see you there.

God Has Friends In Low Places

I was sitting in the backyard listening to an audiobook and getting a much-needed dose of vitamin D. Two mockingbirds were darting back and forth just a few feet in front of me. They began making so much noise that it was becoming difficult to hear my audiobook. I knew that they had a nearby nest and were only trying to protect their young from a potential threat. Apparently, mockingbirds don’t understand that a paralyzed guy in a wheelchair doesn’t pose a threat. I wouldn’t have harmed them even if I had the ability because Atticus Finch said that it was a sin to kill a mockingbird.

Then I saw two beautiful bluebirds sitting side by side on the lowest limb of the large live oak tree. These two little birds were just minding their own business. Like me, they seemed to be doing their best to ignore the noise and the antics of the paranoid mockingbirds. Every five minutes or so, one of the bluebirds would fly over to an old birdhouse. Mary’s been meaning to replace that birdhouse because the wood is rotting. After observing this for over an hour, Mary came out and told me that the bluebirds have a nest in that dilapidated old birdhouse.

I thought there must be a severe birdhouse shortage in our area for these bluebirds to have chosen this run-down dwelling to build a nest. It was then that I had somewhat of a revelation about the beautiful and Holy taking up residence in dwellings that are far beneath them. Jesus was born in a smelly stable. There might have been a pair of bluebirds nesting in that stable. The Holy Spirit resides in the followers of Christ:

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

I’ve met some rough-looking followers of Christ over the years. Many of Christ’s most fervent followers were once prostitutes, alcoholics, drug addicts, gang members, murderers, on and on the list goes. And then there’s me… Regardless of how we might look on the outside, we’re all broken down “birdhouses” on the inside. As the Bible says, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23).

Yet, this sinless Jesus will put His Spirit in all that ask Him to. Wow!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Jesus was born in a place that most homeless people would have avoided. But, Even if Jesus would have been born in the most magnificent palace on earth, it would have been far beneath Him. It’s as if God chose the lowest of places to emphasize this. Yes, that’s it exactly.

The disciples were grief-stricken after Jesus explained to them that He would have to die. He comforted them with there words: “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.” (John 14:16-17)

The night before the crucifixion of Jesus, Peter cowered before a small group of slaves, denying three times that he even knew Jesus. Weeks later, after being filled with the Holy Spirit, Peter stood before a crowd of thousands of powerful Jewish leaders, likely some of the people who condemned Jesus. Peter boldly declared that Jesus is Lord. Then he told them to “Be saved from this perverse generation!” (Acts 2:40). I think saying things like that was politically incorrect even in that day. I wonder what he’d say today. Regardless of what he said, his message was effective, and “about three thousand souls” committed to following Christ that day.

Years later, after being arrested by the Romans, Peter was told that he would be crucified if he didn’t renounce Jesus. Contemporary sources write that he refused to renounce Jesus. He told them that he didn’t feel worthy to die in the same manner as his Lord and Savior. Instead, he asked to be crucified upside down. They granted his request.

It’s been two thousand years since Peter’s crucifixion. Many have been executed for refusing to deny Jesus. In the face of death, many others renounced Jesus and lived.

What choice would you make if put in this position?

By definition, a true follower of Christ is someone who has the Spirit of God living inside of them. I still think it will be a difficult choice, but if the Holy Spirit is in you, you will say no to this life and yes to eternal life.

“But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.” (Romans 8:11)

Having God’s Spirit living inside of us gives us Unshakable Hope.

Rewritten from a post five years ago.