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My Need of a Caregiver
ALS is a horrible disease that leads to the body becoming totally paralyzed; the once-healthy and self-reliant victims of this killer eventually become forced to rely on a caregiver for all of their needs.
Coming to rely on my caregiver for help was very difficult and humbling. I had always been so independent and hard-working, and I suppose that I believed these qualities would keep me from ever having to rely on a caregiver. But the more familiar I became with my disease, the more I was forced to admit that my self-reliance and good work-ethic were not enough; I had to accept the fact that I couldn’t do it on my own; I needed a caregiver to help me.
One day, I admitted defeat and began accepting help from my caregiver. However, even after all these years my pride still makes it difficult to rely on someone else for assistance. But, day after day, my patient, selfless and devoted caregiver is always willing to help me. I’m so thankful for that!
Although everything I wrote above is true of my wife, Mary, and Sharlene (the woman that helps her care for me), I was not referring to either them. The process of coming to terms with accepting help for my physical needs was very similar to something that occurred in my life 13 years before being diagnosed with ALS. It was then I came to realize that I was spiritually helpless. And, like ALS, my efforts to conquer this eternally fatal disease through my own efforts were completely useless; I needed a full-time caregiver. After thoroughly reviewing the “résumés” of all the candidates for this most important position, I determined that only Jesus Christ was qualified to be my caregiver (my Lord and Savior).
Thankfully I didn’t have to become a theologian to conclude that the most significant difference between Christianity and every other belief-system can be summed-up by just one word – Grace! Every other belief-system is based on human efforts (“works”) to earn eternal life. They might phrase it differently, but the bottom line message is always the same – “Clean yourself up and God might accept you.” Christians are those that have come to realize they’re incapable of cleaning themselves up enough to stand before a Holy God. Like ALS rendering me physically helpless, all of humanity is spiritually helpless and in need of a spiritual caregiver.
Jesus didn’t wait for us to clean up our act before coming to die for us. In fact, He wouldn’t have had to come at all if we were capable of purifying ourselves. The Bible says it was “…while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Unlike other belief-systems, Christians don’t perform good works hoping to obtain salvation; we do good works because we’ve already obtained salvation.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:8-10)
“Hope does not disappoint”
“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint… ” (Romans 5:1-5 NASB)
Regardless of the outcome, I don’t believe that Christ-centered hope can ever be categorized as “false hope.” Even in our darkest trials; when we’re hoping (in Christ) for a miracle to bring us through the trial and the miracle doesn’t happen the way we envisioned, we can remain “in hope” if we are truly hoping (unconditionally) in Christ and not merely hoping for a miracle. Regardless of the trials we face, only hope in Christ is “the full assurance of hope until the end” (Hebrews 6:11 NASB)
The Apostle Paul (the man who wrote the opening passage) experienced many difficult trials, but was a living example that hope in Christ never disappoints. He wrote; (I have) “…been put in jail…whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jews gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled many weary miles. I have faced danger from flooded rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the stormy seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be Christians but are not. I have lived with weariness and pain and sleepless nights. Often I have been hungry and thirsty and have gone without food. Often I have shivered with cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.” (2 Corinthians 11:23-27 NLT)
Like many of us, Paul’s trials didn’t always turn out the way he envisioned and prayed that they would. A great example of this is Paul’s so-called “thorn in the flesh.” The Bible never says what Paul’s “thorn” was, but I believe this omission was intentional so we could read Paul’s words and be able to apply them to whatever “thorns in the flesh” we might be dealing with, whether they are physical, emotional, relational, financial or spiritual etc.
Paul wrote;” Concerning this (thorn in the flesh) I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10 NASB)
God telling Paul, “My grace is sufficient,” isn’t His nice way of saying “No,” but it is His way of saying “Not yet.” The Bible doesn’t tell us whether or not God ever removed Paul’s “thorn” at some later point in Paul’s life and I think this omission was also intentional so we would keep hoping for God to grant our miracle.
I believe that God wants us to get to the point where our joy, peace and hope are not dependent on our circumstances. Learning to love God unconditionally, as He loves us, is the greatest of all miracles.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33 NASB)
His grace is sufficient!
Comparing Yourself to Others
I have learned to be careful about not comparing my life to those that are healthier and wealthier than me because I believe doing so can lead to hopelessness and depression.
I suppose it’s unrealistic, at least for me, not to compare our life to the lives of others, but I’ve discovered that I can choose who I compare myself with. Instead of comparing myself to people who are wealthy, healthy; people doing things like taking exotic vacations to places I’ve always wanted to visit etc, I compare my lot in life with the unhealthy, the persecuted and the poor.
Like all aspects of maintaining hope, this kind of selective comparison doesn’t come naturally for most of us not living in Third-world nations. For many years, even before I had ALS, I practiced this selective comparison by reading articles and watching documentaries about the poor and persecuted of the world and by following and supporting ministries and missionaries that worked to relieve their suffering.
Then, about 2 & ½ years ago, I became a missionary myself; an “Online Missionary” with an organization called Global Media Outreach. This is a great non-denominational Internet ministry that is able to reach people with the Gospel in areas that traditional missionaries cannot go; remote regions and nations like China and Iran where mission work is restricted or banned altogether. GMO has roughly 100 different Internet sites that can be accessed via computer and/or a cell phone. One or more of these sites will always be among the first listed when people Google words like Jesus, Christianity, religion or God etc. GMO has thousands of volunteers that communicate with millions of people every year. I’ve heard many heartbreaking stories from people that have emailed or texted me through GMO, many of which have become close friends of mine. The following are some of stories I’ve heard.
- Men and women in Africa dying from AIDS or other diseases.
- New Christians in the Middle-east living in fear of their Muslim family discovering they’ve converted (one 20 year-old man was living in hiding from his father).
- Abandoned or widowed mothers contemplating giving up their children because they cannot afford to feed them.
- People who are bound by long-term drug, alcohol or sexual addictions.
These are just a few examples of stories I hear regularly from people I communicate with through GMO. These are also the people I choose to compare my life to and by doing so I feel extremely blessed.
My oldest daughter and her husband recently took a mission trip to Uganda and they both told me it was a reality check for them. They saw what life was like for the vast majority of people on this earth; not knowing where their next meal would come from and living in fear that a drink of water or a bite from a mosquito might make them violently ill or even end their life. Lauren and James don’t have much, but, like Mary and I, they feel blessed because they’ve chosen to measure their life by the reality of Uganda instead of by the “American dream.”
I believe everyone, especially followers of Christ and Christians going through trials, should do volunteer work to help the less fortunate and to give us a realistic gauge to measure our life and current circumstances by and most of all to be obedient to Christ.
“I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me…Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” (Mathew 25:35-40)
“Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.”
Helen Keller
The Foundation of Hope
An anonymous man commented on my last post and asked the following questions;
- “What have you built your hope on?”
- “How is (your hope) founded? Is it the Bible, is it friends and family, and or have you had spiritual encounters…?”
- “How has Christ helped you?”
- “How do you renew these eroding or decaying virtues that so remarkably define one who takes up their cross as you have?”
In my previous post I mentioned that my hope was “Christ-centered” and I also inserted some Bible passages on hope so readers would be right if they concluded I was referring to Christian hope. But with all the spiritual confusion these days I respect this man for wanting to be sure. I wish more people would challenge those giving spiritual advice.
When I read his question; “What have you built your hope on?” I thought of the old hymn titled “The Solid Rock.” I’ll use the first line and the chorus of this nearly 200 year old hymn for my answer to this question; “My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness…On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; All other ground is sinking sand…”
I am not a theologian, but as I understand it, a Christian by definition is someone who has concluded that real hope for today and for eternity can only be found in Jesus Christ. I believe that Jesus was speaking the truth when He claimed, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” (John 14:66)
It’s because I believe this that I feel Jesus is worthy of my hope.
Regarding the questions; “How is (your hope) founded? Is it the Bible, is it friends and family, and or have you had spiritual encounters…?”
I’m not sure what he’s referring to by “spiritual encounters;” I haven’t seen angels or visited heaven or anything like that, but we’ve experienced many miracles that have reinforced our hope and our faith. God has also used family, friends and even strangers to meet our needs and strengthen our hope.
But, even though I feel like I have the best wife, kids, family and friends, I don’t believe genuine hope can be founded on even the best of people or any created thing. God is the foundation of my hope and therefore the Bible is also my foundation because God and His word are one in the same;
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:1&1:14)
So my answer to the question, “How has Christ helped you?” is this; God’s word is the foundation of my hope, but He’s used many caring people to build on that foundation.
Finding the answers to this man’s last question (“How do you renew these eroding or decaying virtues that so remarkably define one who takes up their cross as you have?”) is the reason I felt I should start this blog. As I mentioned above, I’ve found that reading and choosing to believe the bible (instead of feelings and the opinions of others, including and especially me) and surrounding myself with hope-minded people are very important. But there are many other important things that I believe build or erode hope and these will be focus of future posts.
“…we who have taken refuge (In Christ) would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast…” (Hebrews 6:18-19)
Unshakable Hope 